Gwynn loses a dream and gains in romance

September 6, 1084

'Pardon the interruption, ladies.'

Sir Egelric was not a man to measure his tread, but this evening he came as silently into the hall as his hard-​​soled boots would allow. His voice too was unnaturally soft. “Pardon the interruption, ladies.”

Lady Gwynn was slightly annoyed to have been interrupted just then, when she had finally gained the amused attention of all four big girls in the room. When she saw who had come in with Egelric and Ethelwyn, however, she was too overwhelmed to speak in any case.

She saw who had come in with Egelric and Ethelwyn.

“Henny, we have a guest for the evening, if you will make a chamber ready for him.”

Lili rose from her harp, but in her confusion she held her hands out to her husband instead of their guest. “Of… course.”

'Of... course.'

“On the ground floor, please,” Egelric murmured, and then he passed Lili’s hands into the elf’s and said aloud, “Lili, you remember my friend Vash?”

Gwynn could not see Lili’s face from where she sat, but she recognized the sudden brightening of the elf’s face as the reaction produced by one of Lili’s smiles upon any male – human or elf, apparently. “Of course, sir…, ah…”

“Call me Vash, please. I shall not attempt to translate the terms of address of elven society into your language. I am only happy your husband did not introduce me as Ears.”

Egelric winced. “Damn! Next time.”

'Damn!  Next time.'

“You could teach me how to greet you in yours…” Lili purred.

“That’s Lili,” Egelric sighed. “Always flirting with men until they teach her their language.”

“It would take many lessons to teach you to greet me properly in my language, and even if there were not the matter of the flirting, I believe your husband means to spirit me away shortly and flirt with me himself.”

Drink with you!” Egelric groaned. “It would take more wine than I have to make you look pretty enough to be flirted with!”

Vash peeked around Lili’s head to smile at Gwynn. “I am certain I could find at least one person here who would disagree.”

Cat and Flann laughed aloud, but Gwynn was deaf to everything but one voice.

Gwynn was deaf to everything but one voice.

Was it possible? Could it be? Was he flirting with her? His smile was for her, not for the other adults, and it was sweet and friendly. This was not the mocking false flirtation she often endured from grown men. He did not wink at Lili. He did not chuckle with Egelric. He was looking at her as if he and she were the only two who understood – as if he and she were laughing at the others instead of the contrary.

Gwynn did not know how the other girls did it. Her body shook with giggles, and her face burned with a blush she could not begin to control. She had watched the older girls long enough to know that she was supposed to laugh, toss back her hair, and make some clever remark that would feign disinterest while hinting that she was quite interested indeed. She knew what she was supposed to do, but she had no idea how she could force her tittering body to do it.

This was her introduction to flirtation.

This was her introduction to flirtation, but it only served to make her suddenly, brutally aware that it would require more than close study of hair-​​tossing to attain the sophistication of a Cat or a Girl-​​Flann.

“Ah! You remember her ladyship, perhaps,” Egelric was saying to him. “She does seem to remember you!”

Egelric was smiling his wolf’s smile, but Vash’s smile was still sweet and still for her alone.

'Of course I remember you.'

“Of course I remember you.”

He was not speaking of her to Egelric! He was speaking to her! To her! And how tiny her little paw seemed in his long hand!

How tiny her little paw seemed in his long hand!

“You are Iylaine’s friend.”

Through his hand, she could feel the thrill that ran over him as he spoke the words. He loved Iylaine’s very name. His gaze was soft and searching, staring into and beyond Gwynn’s eyes. She could imagine that he hoped to find in them some lingering reflection of Iylaine from the last time Gwynn had looked upon her.

She was disappointed for her own sake, but she could not have been the daughter of Alred and not realized that even the most fervent flirtation was not necessarily a sign of true love.

It was nevertheless romantic to be not-loved by a handsome elf.

Also, if she was not to be loved, it was nevertheless romantic to be not-​​loved by a handsome elf who had given his love to her friend: so entirely that it was still hers after all this time, so utterly that it continued to burn though deprived of all fuel. She had the romantic thought that it must have been consuming him instead, and indeed she was certain he had grown paler since the last time she had seen him, and thinner.

He kissed her hand and turned his eyes to hers again: though he smiled, his eyes were the same tragic eyes she had seen just before he had turned his face away from Iylaine for the last time. She fancied she could almost see the image of Iylaine’s own sorrowful face burned into them.

His eyes were the same tragic eyes.

But knowing that he was not interested in her did allow her to feel more at ease, and furthermore, she reminded herself, Vash was not the only elf in the woods.

“And you’re Kiv’s friend. I remember! How is your friend?”

His hand shivered out of hers and hung forgotten between them. For a moment, he only stared off at the wall behind her head, his eyes wide and vacant. He seemed to be listening rather than seeing. “He is… no longer… among us…”

'He is... no longer... among us...'

During that painful silence, Gwynn could have thought of what to say or do, but she had been too busy regretting her hasty words. Hastily again, without thinking, she squeezed his dangling fingers and murmured, too softly for the others to hear, “I’m sorry. He seemed to love you very much.”

The gesture returned to her the soft gaze of eyes wet and green as dewy leaves. He bent his head to hers, and what he whispered seemed to be a gift made in gratitude. “More than his own life.”

'More than his own life.'

It was a gift that Gwynn would treasure. If her own dreams would never come true, at least she knew that her hero had been worthy of them. It was a romantic thing to have said, and she liked to think he had dared say it because he had known she would understand.

That was all the time they were allowed together. To Sir Egelric she came first, because she was a duke’s daughter, but she did not count, because she was only a little girl.

She did not count, because she was only a little girl.