Egelric kneels

Matilda stood quietly contemplating her husband’s arms. A tree – an uprooted tree, she thought. It suddenly seemed terribly fitting. Would she ever see her old home again? See Alred? But she would not cry – not during the day.

She quickly sat and composed herself as she heard footsteps coming down the corridor. “Enter!” she called, before the visitor had had time to knock.

“Egelric,” she called softly. She hadn’t seen him in many days. She could see in his face that he had no good news – a face that had grown frighteningly old these past weeks.

“Your Grace,” he began, but Matilda interrupted him, rising to her feet.

“Matilda,” she corrected. “Please call me Matilda. Please forget who I am – all else but that I am your friend. I am certain that you call my husband by his name when you are alone.”

He smiled slightly at her, wistfully shaking his head. “I never did.”

“Ah, you will!” she said brightly, frightened by the look of regret in his face. Surely he didn’t believe that it was now too late? “He must have found you quite tedious, Egelric!”

Egelric walked nervously across the room.

Matilda turned to follow him. “Egelric,” she said softly, “what news?”

Egelric dropped to his knees at her feet. “My lady, I am yours.”

“Oh, Egelric,” she scolded gently. “Not like this.”

“I have neglected my work – God grant that no children go hungry because of me this winter. But I am yours. I will search no longer.”

Matilda laid a slender hand beneath his chin and lifted him to his feet. Something about his face seemed a mute appeal for tenderness, and without thinking she traced his lower lip wtih her thumb. Damn that witch Elfleda – if anything could destroy a man like this, it would be the kind of rotting from within caused by a woman like that.

Matilda abruptly drew her hand away as she realized what she was doing. “Don’t – ” she stammered, confused. “Egelric – ”

“Your Grace?”

“Egelric, no one will go hungry because of you. We have managed, and we shall continue to manage if you need more time.”

He shook his head. “I will not find him.”

“I’m sorry, Egelric.”

“Please tell me I am needed here,” he begged, his eyes closed as if he tried to hold back tears.

“Of course you are needed here.”

“Then let me work.”

“Right away, if you wish.”

Egelric nodded.

“I shall send for Aylmer. He will tell you what needs to be done. Egelric – open your eyes.”

He shook his head.

She looked into his face helplessly.

“I just gave up hope,” he explained after a moment. “Here before you.” He swallowed and opened his eyes at last, liberating a few tears. “Don’t ever do that – Matilda.”

“I shan’t,” she whispered.

“I’ll go find Aylmer myself,” he said, turning abruptly. “Thank you – Matilda… Matilda…” 

He closed the door quietly, and she listened as he repeated her name to himself as he retreated down the corridor, as if he tried to memorize it – or as if he had simply gone mad. 

“I shan’t lose hope,” she said again, as if she meant to memorize the phrase. But had she made a promise she could keep?