Malcolm is promoted

April 10, 1079

'Wherefore so glum, potlicker?'

Sigefrith peered into the stall and asked, “Wherefore so glum, potlicker?”

Malcolm lifted his cheek from Druid’s black neck. “Who said I was?”

“Your father, for one. Miss me already?”

“I’m not glum.”

“But you do miss me.”

“I shall miss you after you are gone. When you’re here, you’re only annoying.”

Sigefrith laughed. “Only you dare to abuse me the way you do.”

“Likewise.”

“Where is your brother this fine morning? I should have thought he would like to spend his time with you while he still can.”

'Where is your brother this fine morning?'

“He’s out with Leof.”

“Not very nice of your brother to run off with Leof and leave you here with only a dumb beast for company.”

“Now, Sigefrith, I certainly wouldn’t call you dumb…”

Sigefrith laughed. “That was almost too easy.”

“I know, I’m getting lazy,” Malcolm sighed.

“What are the two troublemakers plotting today? Should I have locked up the ladies and the ladies’ maids?”

“Probably,” Malcolm muttered. “They were following a herd of girls down to the market when I left them.”

“Why don’t you go see Bertie?”

'Why don't you go see Bertie?'

“Bertie is home with his mother. And Baby.”

“Oh! Oh! Now I see why you are so glum. I thought it was because of me.”

“I’m not glum! And I don’t care if Baby goes to see Bertie’s mother. She practically grew up in her house, anyway.”

“That gives Bertie an unfair advantage.”

Malcolm glared up at him. “I wish you would stop teasing me about my little cousin.”

“I have to tease you about your cousin because I had to stop teasing you about mine.

Malcolm shook his head grimly. “The tighter Brede keeps her tied, the farther she will run when she breaks free.”

'The tighter Brede keeps her tied, the farther she will run when she breaks free.'

“You are wise in the ways of young women, Malcolm.”

“It’s just like horses,” he said, nodding at Druid. “If he misses his morning run, he’s all I can handle the following day.”

“Shall I tell Brede you are willing to take his sister out for a little daily exercise, in that case?”

“Oh, no!” Malcolm cried. “I shan’t be beaten black and blue for something I didn’t even want to do!”

“You don’t even want to do? She’s a pretty girl. Your brother has already noticed.”

“And she has already noticed my brother!”

“Jealous?”

'Jealous?'

“No!”

“What about your cousin?”

“What about her?” Malcolm sighed.

“She noticed him yet?”

“Baby doesn’t notice boys!”

“Are you certain it is not that she simply fails to notice you?

Malcolm folded his arms across his chest and scowled.

“I’m sorry, potlicker,” Sigefrith smiled. “I only wanted to test your fitness for promotion to squire, but I see you are not yet a fool.”

'I'm sorry, potlicker.'

“I’m not interested in being a fool!”

“Are you interested in being a squire?”

Malcolm grunted.

“Oh, Malcolm,” Sigefrith said mournfully. “Couldn’t you at least try to kiss your cousin, or something? A sound slap is just what you need to make a fool out of you – especially if you tried again afterwards.”

“I shan’t kiss my poor cousin merely because I want to be a squire. That hardly seems honorable.”

“Boy, are you aiming for a promotion directly to knight? Perhaps she wants to kiss you.”

“I doubt that.”

“What if she knew you were leaving and might never return? Women will do funny things in such situations.”

“That would be a lie.”

“Suppose we made you a squire, boy, on the chance that you will make a fool out of yourself when you say goodbye to her. You won’t disappoint me, will you?”

'You won't disappoint me, will you?'

Malcolm thought for a moment. “Whose squire?”

“Why – mine, of course!”

Malcolm eyed him warily. “The King’s squire? Is this a joke?”

“No, it isn’t. I wasn’t in a hurry, for it was great fun watching you make a fool out of yourself by trying to avoid being a fool. But I’m leaving in three weeks and I want you to come with me.”

“Did you tell this to my father?”

“Your father is quite pleased. He thought it unfair that your brother should go and you stay behind.”

“As did I! But I thought he could take me if he wanted me to go.”

“You’re my boy!” Sigefrith protested, and grabbed him in a rough embrace. “He already has one like you. It’s my pots you’ve been licking for the past five years! It’s time you began earning your keep!”

Malcolm laughed with delight. “Shall I truly come with you?”

“Truly, but, you know, it isn’t all fun and games.”

“I know, but – oh!” Malcolm danced for joy.

Malcolm danced for joy.

“And you had better remember what I said about your cousin,” Sigefrith laughed. “You had better be a damned fool by the time we leave here.”

“What would her father say if he knew you were ordering me to kiss his daughter?” Malcolm asked dubiously.

“He would be displeased, I think, but far less so than if there were any chance that she would allow it. But listen to an old man, Malcolm, who is wiser in the ways of young women than you believe yourself to be: Iylaine is a little girl who hungers for her father’s love more than she admits even to herself, and one of these days she will go looking for something like it from some other man – do you see where this is going? I think it would be best, when that day comes, for there to be nearby a man honorable enough that he would refuse to kiss her, even if it meant denying himself the double pleasure of a kiss from a pretty girl and promotion to the rank of squire. Not necessarily to love her, mind, but to prevent some other, less honorable man from not loving her well enough. Do you see?”

Malcolm was silent for a moment. “I never thought of it.”

Malcolm was silent for a moment.

“But you will now.”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Well, that certainly took the glee out of you, runt. Weren’t you dancing for joy a moment ago?”

“But now I’m thinking that Baby will be here alone.”

“She won’t be alone. Bertie will be here with her.”

“Bertie!”

“Don’t trust Bertie with her? Isn’t he an honorable man?”

'Don't trust Bertie with her?'

“No, that’s not it…”

“You’re jealous!”

“No!”

“You had better kiss her before we leave, runt! You don’t know when you will have another chance, and young Bertie is bound to have more than a few this summer!”

'Young Bertie is bound to have more than a few this summer!'