“I am certain that when Death comes for you—which I hope will not be for an extraordinarily long time—you will look him in the eye and say, ‘Very well! I only hope this will be interesting!’”
BLEH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by PenelopetheFox on Wed, 11/26/2008 - 21:44.
This is a real book that is actually on sale for reals.
Do not click the link if you are currently eating something. It will make you ill. Actually, it may make you ill even if you aren't eating.
http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212
Had to share this find with someone (so that their lives could be forever illuminated by it) and seeing as how this is the only online community-ish thing that I belong to... 
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I am currently eating and I
Submitted by Lothere on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:37.I am currently eating and I am already somewhat ill (OK runny nose but still), but human nature being what it is, I am soooooo tempted...
But you didn't tell us, is it SFW?
What in the world is SFW? It
Submitted by PenelopetheFox on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 12:20.What in the world is SFW? It is a cookbook.
Oh and btw, Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh man I have been living in
Submitted by Lothere on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 12:25.Oh man I have been living in the series of tubes for too long.
SFW = safe for work
NSFW = not safe for work
If you see (NSFW) after a link, it's fair warning to prevent yourself from getting fired if you're surfing on the job.
Your link, btw, is NSFW. I clicked. *cry* Fortunately I didn't get any farther than loading the title bar.
Whoooa..! Yuck!
Submitted by Sofie on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 13:04.Whoooa..!
Yuck!
Ewww that's gross who in
Submitted by Devin on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 13:05.Ewww that's gross who in their right minds would eat jizz?
What I found even more
Submitted by stacysaurus on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 14:17.What I found even more disturbing than the book itself was some of the comments people were leaving. I really hope they were kidding... sneaking it into their friends' foods?? What about diseases, etc.!!! (besides it just being plain rude)
I agree, those comments were
Submitted by Lothere on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 18:31.I agree, those comments were the most disturbing part. They are so many and yet so coherent that it looks more like a massively distributed effort to write fake-serious comments. "No more assault charges for me! Thanks, Natural Harvest!"
Lulu is a self-publishing service, though, so I wouldn't take even the author too seriously.
I love how this book came out just in time for Thanksgiving.
Some things were just not meant to be... errr... ingredients.
OMG, I didn't even see that
Submitted by PenelopetheFox on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 19:05.OMG, I didn't even see that there was a comments section! I'm afraid to look.
That has got to be a serious
Submitted by Sonia on Fri, 11/28/2008 - 23:21.That has got to be a serious tongue-in-cheek cookbook. Nobody in their right minds would use THAT as a cooking product. Besides, from my experience, there's never going to be enough to even ADD flavour....
Sorry, couldn't resist that one....
But seriously.... that's a definite EWWWW factor for me too.
EWWIE.
I couldn't look past the
Submitted by Lisa on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 13:03.I couldn't look past the loading title page. Just that was enough to make me queasy.
"Semen is inexpensive to
Submitted by Cassie on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 16:09."Semen is inexpensive to produce." LOLOLOLOL.
That's ~really~ gross. I read it awhile ago, but that part of it just jumped out at me as being funny this time. That's so, so gross. Ugh. And the comments are seriously disturbing. I'd cut a bitch who thought it was okay to serve me semen in a dish. That friendship would be officially REVOKED.
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I'm romantic, literary, cynical, and a diehard Alred Sebright groupie.
Yeah OK it's free (if you
Submitted by Lothere on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 16:19.Yeah OK it's free (if you are a man, which I am not) but there is the problem of making it scale. It can never be more than a garnish unless you are saving it in a tupperware bowl in the back of the fridge, and that is wrong on just so many levels, from hygienic all the way on up.
I just don't get it, seriously. The only possible explanation is that it's this guy's fetish and he just rationalizes it in this way. I am cool with people having fetishes. Trying to impose them on other people -- especially in the underhanded way of pretending it's normal and making like they're the ones with a closed mind -- I don't find cool at all. I don't know what I would do if I found out someone had pulled that trick on me (fortunately I suspect most of the commenters are lying), but it would probably get me arrested.
Actually I am pretty sure secretively serving someone semen-based recipes would get you arrested.
And now I have achieved my goal of getting "Semen is expensive to" off the front-page of my site. Thanks Cassie! Better get back to your paper now!
Any time.
Submitted by Cassie on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 16:21.Any time.
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I'm romantic, literary, cynical, and a diehard Alred Sebright groupie.
What most got me was
Submitted by PenelopetheFox on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 16:23.What most got me was something to the effect of, "It's readily available in most homes and restaurants." RESTAURANTS????????????
...If there are men working
Submitted by Lothere on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 16:26....If there are men working there. I hope that's what he meant. I hope that's what he meant. I hope that's what he meant.
Oh dear God, what kind of
Submitted by PenelopetheFox on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 16:31.Oh dear God, what kind of experience would that be? You're sitting in a restaurant and the dude at the next table is seasoning his soup in a most unconventional manner!
Or worse -- it's the waiter.
Submitted by Lothere on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 16:34.Or worse -- it's the waiter. The pepper grinder in one hand, and in the other...
...
Submitted by Tiffany on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 16:34.*DIES*
Submitted by PenelopetheFox on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 16:36.*DIES*
Have any of you ever seen
Submitted by Cassie on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 16:50.Have any of you ever seen Fight Club? There's this whole little segment where Tyler talks about the things he used to do when he worked in the service industry - as a movie projectionist, he would splice shots of pornography into family movies and such, and then as a waiter he would...do things...to the food. A kind of anarchic vigilante justice, natch.
Great book and movie. Creepy/gross as hell to think about people actually doing that to the food.
Boy, is it a party in the forum tonight or what?
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I'm romantic, literary, cynical, and a diehard Alred Sebright groupie.
Yes, I've seen that film and
Submitted by PenelopetheFox on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 17:02.Yes, I've seen that film and yet for some reason, I still eat out on a regular basis.