Leofric + Myrddin?

Don't want to think about the hand down pants scenario for that one either....

Andronikos + Father Matthew!! (If only because F. Matthew tends to be a little slow on the uptake.)

Lady Eagdith + Brinstan.
Hetty + Anson.
Leofric + Anson.
Margaret + Edris.

Yeah I think Osh + Rua is epically WRONG. More so than just about any other father+daughter couple I can think of at the moment, excluding prepubescent children.

Anson and anyone is pretty creepy too. Something about Anson maybe... Anson and Myrddin? Anson and Ethelwyn's hair?

It's the smarm-factor.

What about couples that would never happen but that would actually be kinda hot? Like Vash and Shus? Or Shus and anyone?

Moar Shus? I think I speak for everyone when I say, "YES PLEASE!!!"

EDIT: Were you thinking "crack" as in "That's one crack'n lad" or "crack" as in... What?

YAY SHUS!!

Hmmm, couples that would never happen, but would actually be hot... hmmmmmm...

Magog+Young Sigefrith? Oooooh, Lar+Vash! *dodges flying coconuts from all directions*

EDIT: I picked up the phrase "crack pairing" from a friend who's pretty much obsessed with fanfiction. The justification for the name is that you could only possibly believe the pair would be good if you're on crack.

Lar + Paul?

Young Sigefrith + Shus! Young Sigefrith is worthy!

Lena + Connie

EDIT: Thought I might throw some girls in there before this thread is overtaken by the gay man porn.

EDIT2: Lothere, is there any chance of a new chapter popping up in the next 2 or 3 hours? I'd sort of like to stop hoping and be disappointed every time I press F5. Tonight would be a great night for a new chapter. *feeling a little blue*

Haha, less on the untenable-but-hot manporn side and more on the fairly implausible but possibly interesting: Vash/Aia, Cedric/Gwynn (or Cedric/Margaret), mainly for the "how much can we torture Cedric?" aspect (or Yware/Cedric XP). I'd also like to see some Leofric/Magog bonding, if not necessarily romantic, and of course Eirik and Brede (but then, that isn't crack, is it?)

I support Lena as everyone's mother, and grandmother. She'd better live a long time!

Ooh Yware + Cubby! Yware would fight it so hard too! But in the end he just--couldn't--resist!

I like the idea of Vash + Aia just because it's so impossibly impossible... and yet so obvious. The Prince of the Elves + the crippled daughter of slaves.

How about Osh + Aia for a crack pairing!

Eirik + Murchad might be fun... or Eirik + Cearball. We could also do something interesting with Sigi + Cearball. Lick my boots, slave!

I'm not blaming you for not writing quick enough or anything, I think you're awesome for doing this at all. I was just looking to be cheered up by a shiny new chapter. But that picture is such a good substitute! I'm going all mushy inside and a loud "Aww" is echoing in my head. Thanks!

What do you mean "whoever is in the picture", Van? That's so obviously Gwynn! Can't you see the Matilda in her unhappy mouth?

(Sorry if that came off as mean and accusing.. I'm just teasing. )

Didn't enlarge it until just now. It wasn't linked, so I figured it was cut off on purpose in order to reduce spoilers, but right-clicking revealed otherwise.

I can see the whole thing if I maximize it, actually, but I normally keep my windows fairly small (which is weird, I know).

How about Gunnilda + Shus, since they're two of the most in-demand characters of late?
Leofric + Iylaine (ewwww)
Egelric + Kraaia
Eirik + Edris
Anson + Cearball (THE SKEEVINESS WOULD BE EPIC)
Hetty + Lena (which would actually be awfully sweet)
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I'm romantic, literary, cynical, and a diehard Alred Sebright groupie.

No. No, I cannot.
Or what about Egelric and Magog?? Can you IMAGINE those two together?
For that matter, what about Alred + Egelric? They HAVE been such close friends for so long...
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I'm romantic, literary, cynical, and a diehard Alred Sebright groupie.

Oh, that picture... *whimpers and quivers into a gelatinous mass*
I know what you mean about the repulsing PHWOAR of Leofric and Magog. That picture of Egelric and Magog, though...*sigh*
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I'm romantic, literary, cynical, and a diehard Alred Sebright groupie.

That Egelric/Magog picture should have been a LOLthere. It was so Brokeback Mountain.

Alred and Eadgith...hehehehe

the Dark Lady and Alred

Sigefrith and Malcolm

Sigefrith and Matilda

Matilda and Dre (only for the fact that she could have the balls)

Leofric and Dre(topps)

Dre/his deamon side and the Bright Lady

Cat and Brass dog (can't recall real name)

Gunnie and Osh

Malcom and Gwynn (had the timing been right this would have been interesting to say the least)

Araphel/Bastien and Dantalion

Shalla and Father Matthew

Pual and the Dark Lady

Dantalion and Father Matthew

Leia and Alred (kidding)

Leia and one of her Father's unknown male bastards (Common Folk Perhaps)

Iylaine and Shalla or Dre

I shall not torment you with the rest ...

Gunnilda and Osh... that just... disturbs me.

Hey, didn't they make a movie out of that?

Too late...

I nodded on each one until I got to Leofric.

I had already created the language by that time. Not in my head... on paper of course. Even I am not that great with languages.

He's definitely special, a wee bit above and beyond the people around him. That will become clearer in the coming months and years. It's not so much that he's special because he was supposed to die but was saved by a raven, but rather that he was saved by a raven because he's special.

How about for "crack pairings" --- Aed + Kalilletha ..... or Father Matthew + Foras! Actually, I think Fr. Matthew might enjoy that!!?

What? You want ANOTHER suitor for Connie? Doesn't she have enough of those already?

Leofric and Myrddin? That's not crack, that's a lifetime of therapy waiting to happen!

...Kind of like that picture of Egelric and Magog in bed.

I have to say I fully approve of any combination of Vash, Shus, Paul, Young Sigefrith and Finn, though.

Mmm... Sir Malcolm and Young Sigefrith, maybe? Yum.

By the way, am I the only nerd who knew what a crack pairing was?

Lar + Young Aed belongs in the hypothetical Hot Slash Pairings thread, not the Crack Pairings thread. The meeting of the hottest profiles in Lothere!

Egelric + Magog likewise.

Gunnilda + Shirtless Shus is good crack though.

How about Cubby and the Old Man? That makes my head swim with strange-yet-possible-ness.

I have to say I fully approve of any combination of Vash, Shus, Paul, Young Sigefrith and Finn, though.

Does that count all five of them together?

Homicidal, painted Comgeall + Ethelwyn?
Druze + Myrddin?

Druze and Myrrdin with anyone will always be a crack pairing.

*hehehe* Finn, Vash, Sir Sigefrith and "is that a knife in your pants or are you just happy to see me" Paul.

Poor Wyn would object to getting any part of himself dirty, so I think that would pose an obstacle for him and Comgeall. Not that Comgeall cares about consent, though.

I have to say I fully approve of any combination of Vash, Shus, Paul, Young Sigefrith and Finn, though.

Does that count all five of them together?

Well, duh.

Maire + Elfleda? As corpses??

You're not the first person to suggest that there might hypothetically be something between Ogive and Brit. Who wouldn't fall in love with Brit, after all?

Ralf and Irene are actually a possibility. If I don't do it now it's more because it seems awkward that there has never been anything between them yet and they've been seeing a bit of each other on and off. You would think one of them would have had the idea now if there had been chemistry there. (I don't think Irene is too concerned with her rank since she has effectively lost it. Andronikos doesn't want to let it go, however.)

Ogive and Malcolm the Younger would probably have kids who are borderline autistic. They're both the kind of people of whom Alred would say "If any of your children are capable of having a flight of fancy that even lifts both of their little heels from the ground, it will prove you a more whimsical [wo]man than I have ever imagined." (Originally said of Sigefrith in "Alred does not refuse".)

Lar + Kraaia would be hot. I can actually imagine Kraaia wearing the pants in that relationship, and Lar cringing before her. "Yes, dear. Yes, dear." Alas, it definitely seems a crack pairing to me.

Yeah, imagining that relationship makes me think that Lar has the potential for domestic violence. As wound-up and traumatized as he is, there are probably a number of things that would make him snap and get really violent with a woman. I have to hope he's not the same way with Seven. Little Seven somehow seems to sneak beneath his defenses.

Kraaia is like a really feisty dog -- she needs someone who will let her romp around and be fully Kraaia, but at the same time will remain calmly and quietly masterful. Her big fear is that she's going to be rejected if she acts out -- which is why she acts out, of course -- so she needs someone who is going to roll with the punches, figuratively or literally speaking, and stick around until she settles down. Whereas if she acted out with Lar he would probably pick her up and hurl her across the room. Osh is great for her, for now, but someday she'll be looking for something more than a father figure...

I have to agree here, in a way. Vash and Kraaia would be so sweet together, but I think for the sake of his people Vash needs to marry and have children with another elf. There really aren't enough of them. =/

If I didn't like Finn so much for Gwynn I'd think he'd work well for Kraaia too. He's sweet, doglike, and can take a pretty good beating. It would be like Egelric and Elfleda all over again in some ways, but I think Kraaia would eventually be able to get past her fears with someone who doggedly comes back to her. Unlike Leda, who was just kind of cracked.

Gunnilda has so many problems with sex that she is almost an automatic crack pairing with anyone except Egelric.

As for Osh... his sexy is just a tad creepy, so he lends himself to crack pairings as well. He's just so dad-like most of the time, and then bam suddenly he's the most sensual man in Lothere and your head is reeling from the congnitive dissonance.

Also, you have the impression that while you're thinking you're having ordinary sexytime with Osh, Osh is doing kinky things to you that you can neither perceive nor imagine. There are times when one would rather just sleep with Imin. At least then one knows what one is getting.