Alred does no dignity to the word

“It’s from Eirik, isn’t it?”
Sigefrith stopped, open-mouthed, in the middle of his word. He had not even said the letter had come from overseas. He had scarcely had the time to say “letter.”
Dunstan glanced over at Malcolm, still standing in the corner by the door.

Malcolm’s face was damp, and his lips pinched into a thin line. He looked like a man attempting to go about his business in spite of a powerful flux cramping his gut. Perhaps a glimpse of Malcolm had been his father’s clue. Dunstan hoped Malcolm was only ill.
“No,” Sigefrith said at last, “it’s from Diarmait. In Gaelic, since Diarmait’s an illiterate jackal, so I brought Malcolm.”
Malcolm stepped away from the wall and headed for a chair at the table.

“It’s mostly a waste of ink,” Sigefrith said. “The first half of it is news we already learned from Donnchad. He tells us how many ships he has, but if he’s telling the truth of that by letter he’s a bigger fool than I already thought him, and I have already allotted him a generous portion of folly.”
Malcolm smoothed the letter flat on the table. His hands seemed to dance around a particular spot on the small parchment, as if one word among all those inked-in Celtic letters had not yet dried.
“And he takes a snotty tone with me,” Sigefrith said. “I want you to bear that in mind, too, Alred. Runt, read the first part. The prosperity part.”
Malcolm cleared his throat. It was not the drawn-out rattling of a sick man, but merely the polite cough of a secretary. Malcolm was not ill.
“Diarmait, Lord of Ramsaa, and Sadb his wife, to Sigefrith, King of Lothere, greetings.”

Malcolm’s translation into English was smooth and unhesitating, but his Gaelic accent was uncharacteristically thick, as if his tongue sought to pronounce the words his eyes read. Dunstan could almost hear the Scottish lord Diarmait speaking through him.
“Because you desire to hear from us especially and know how we fare, therefore we make you this report of our prosperity.” Malcolm sat back.
“‘Because you desire to hear from us especially,’” Sigefrith simpered. “Obnoxious little shit. One would think I’m his tutor making him do his lessons. Which, I hear tell, Murchad often did for him anyway. For that matter, Murchad writes to me in Latin.”

He chuckled weakly and rubbed one sweaty palm in a circle over the other. Dunstan’s father’s expression remained blank. Dunstan gave Sigefrith a wry half-smile in his stead.
“Well,” Sigefrith rumbled, “there’s only the one line that will be of much interest to you. Read it, please, Malcolm.”
Malcolm squared his shoulders over the parchment and bowed his head, like a deacon preparing for the Gospel reading.
“On the sixth day of Christmas, we punished Egelric for his crimes.”
His voice was steady, but once the words had been pronounced, he shuddered and rubbed his arms through his sleeves.
“That’s all, Alred,” Sigefrith said, hastening to soothe a man who had not reacted in any visible way. “That’s all he says about it. Don’t think the worst. ‘Punished.’ It could mean anything. Couldn’t it, Malcolm?”

Malcolm’s hands stopped.
“Malcolm?”
“It could mean anything,” Malcolm echoed.
The flatness of his voice made his agreement seem only a question of vocabulary. Malcolm did not share Sigefrith’s optimistic vision of “anything.”

Sigefrith said, “The letter was dated the ninth of Christmastide. And there was one more bit of uninteresting news after the sixth, so it doesn’t seem as if he wrote me only to fling that in my face. Unless that extra bit of news was part of the jibe.”
He rubbed his beard and frowned into Dunstan’s father’s face. Dunstan searched the sagging pouches beneath his father’s eyes for traces of tears. He even peered closely at the lashes – only delicately pressed together, not squinted shut – for a promise of tears to come. But his father’s face was slack and expressionless as the face of a corpse.

“Damn it, Alred,” Sigefrith grumbled, “say something. Damn me to Hell if you like. It was my idea.”
His father’s lashes fluttered and finally opened to reveal the groggy gaze of the recently awakened. “What were we doing on the sixth day of Christmas, Dunstan?”
Dunstan took a breath and looked to Sigefrith for guidance. Sigefrith was looking to him.
“We might have been doing anything, mightn’t we?” his father mused. He strolled as far as the doorway and turned. “Dancing, perhaps. Eating cakes, drinking sweet wine, surely. Whom did we invite for dinner? Ah, if I could remember that I would know.” He tapped his lips with a fingertip. “Was that one of the days Sophie and Estrid were here? We must have a look in my journal.”

Dunstan broke first. “Father…”
“I want to know what I was doing that day,” his father said, his voice quiet and calm. “When next I meet him, on this earth or in the hereafter, I wish to have the answer. He will want to know.”
Sigefrith protested, “But we don’t even know what they’ve done to him…”
“Anything, I believe you said?”

“Well, I don’t think he’s dead, in any event. Malcolm, read the last bit, the bit from Brede. Brede squeezed in a line at the bottom beneath Diarmait’s hen-scratch. Listen and tell me if you don’t notice something odd.”
Malcolm read, “Please it you, my lord, to convey my tender affection to my wife, sons, and daughters.”
Sigefrith clapped his big hands together. “Ha! Catch that?”
Dunstan’s father seemed to be going back into his daze, so Dunstan answered in his place.

“Brede doesn’t have sons.”
“Excellent observation, runt. Either Brede has a bastard he erroneously believes I know about, or Brede is speaking for more than himself alone. And, erroneous bastards aside, the only one of our remaining men who has sons is Egelric. Egelric was alive to greet them on the ninth day of Christmas therefore. And there are four ink dots beneath Brede’s name – tell them about the dots, runt.”
Malcolm lifted his head for a moment. “There are four dots.”

“Four dots! I think Brede’s trying to tell us they’re all still alive. He didn’t make a mark to show he’s being held hostage, and he didn’t make a mark to ask for help, so the worst of it seems to be that Diarmait won’t let him write his own damned letter.”
“Or perhaps he did,” Dunstan said, grasping at the first optimistic idea that had come to mind, “but it was lost. Or is on its way.”
“It could be! The man who delivered this one says traffic is all but impossible in that part of the sea, from the Mull of Galloway to Ravenglass. Eirik’s been returning Aed’s sails one-by-one and swapping his own between his own fleet and ships he’s captured, which means no one knows who anyone is anymore, until it’s too late.”

Sigefrith began ticking off points on his fingers.
“Half-black, half-colored fleets – and ships being captured and subsequently rescued by different ships with the same color sails – or the same ships with different sails – or the same ships with different crews… I’m getting confused myself here!” Reaching his thumb, he added, “And an all-black fleet has been prowling the coast of Galloway in the winter for the first time in years, which makes me think Young Aed is putting his oar into the water for as long as the confusion lasts.” Sigefrith laughed and clapped his hands atop his head. “Name of God! Makes me wish I had a little navy of my own again!”
Dunstan grinned at his antics. “So, godfather, the Viking blood is at last calling out to the sea?”
“Whom are you laughing at, son-in-law? There’ll be Viking blood in the veins of your runts, remember.”
Dunstan wrinkled his nose and took a step back.

The thought that the sons of his loins might in fact resemble Sigefrith was one that had the power to jolt him awake, in a cold sweat, out of nightmares of babies with square chins and square beards.
All this time his father and Malcolm had been side-by-side, silent together, ignoring Sigefrith and Dunstan entirely. Malcolm no longer frequented the halls of Nothelm as he had in his boyhood, but he and the Duke would forever share a love for the same young lady and the same man.
“Read it to me, again, Malcolm,” Dunstan’s father said wistfully, “if you please. In the Gaelic.”
Sigefrith clenched his teeth and sighed. Dunstan knew his impatience was only the symptom of a sense of helplessness. Dunstan too sighed and snapped at his father sometimes.
“Punished, that’s all he said, Alred. It tells us nothing, and it would only distress us to guess.”
“Sigefrith, you forget to whom you speak. Words do not mean anything. Words do not tell us nothing.”

Sigefrith scowled. “I wager Diarmait deliberately chose that word to tell us nothing. To tell us just enough to make us worry.”
“Regardless, Diarmait chose that word for a reason, and I would do it the dignity of hearing it said as it was intended.” He turned back to the table and laid his hand on the back of Malcolm’s chair. “Malcolm, forgive me for distressing you, but I should like to hear it once.”

Sigefrith said, “You don’t even speak Gaelic, for the love of God!”
Dunstan’s father’s hand slid off the chair and onto Malcolm’s shoulder. Malcolm bowed his head over the parchment and read aloud. The phrase was short and ugly – Dunstan did not like the sound of Gaelic – but his father took a slow breath and tipped back his head as if it were a strain of haunting music.
He let out his breath in a sigh. “Tell me, now: is punished a sufficient translation?”
Malcolm grunted and looked down to line up the parchment squarely with the edge of the table.
“Ah!” Dunstan’s father smiled. “I forget that you Scots do have a word that means absolutely nothing.”
Malcolm looked up.

“That sound you just made – that guttural vociferation of which you are all so fond. Or perhaps I should say it can mean anything, rather? Egelric could hold an entire conversation with me by putting forth no more effort than pronouncing that word at proper intervals.”
The corners of Malcolm’s broad mouth turned up and quivered. For a moment Dunstan believed he was about to see Malcolm cry.
His father continued gently, “But that’s not the word Diarmait wrote, is it?”
Malcolm’s mouth fell flat. Dunstan glanced at Sigefrith, but it did not look as if Sigefrith meant to interfere again. For a moment it almost looked as if Sigefrith himself would cry.

“Well, no,” Malcolm said, “the word he wrote means punished but it’s a…” He made a helpless gesture over the parchment that was like sprinkling invisible sand over ink that was not quite dry. “It means a sort of punishment that is fitting and proper to the crime. Not a fine, not a… a legal formality of a thing.”
“Vengeance?” Dunstan’s father suggested.
“Justice.”
“Ah. Ah.” Dunstan’s father stepped back and addressed the King. “Funny, isn’t it? How life, like water, flows into its proper channels? Consider how a man may be sent into make-believe exile for trumped-up crimes, and nevertheless come to justice thereby.”
He lifted his finger high and stepped back into the doorway.

“Those of us who decide men’s destinies might be excused for feeling as if we unwittingly embody the Hand of God at times.”
Sigefrith pushed back his hair and sighed. “Alred, it was my idea…”
“I am his lord, and no man stands between us.”
“And I am your lord, and no man in this kingdom defies me.”
Dunstan’s father took another step back and straightened his body into the bard’s stance. The shadow of the wall eclipsed half his face, warping his familiar features into something sinister. The echoes in the narrow stone stairwell made his voice seem to come from on high.
“Thou deliverest me unto mine enemies! Yea, thou castest me down among those that rise up against me: thou hast delivered me unto the violent man. Therefore I will give curses unto thee, O lord, among the heathen, and call down maledictions upon thy name.”
He stepped back and went dark. He turned and trod softly up the stairs.
When the door at the top had slammed, Dunstan ventured to say, “I think that was from a Psalm.”

“A damned heretical one,” Sigefrith grumbled.
“He must have changed a few words…”
Sigefrith grabbed Dunstan by the back of his neck and shook him gently. “Sorry about this. Perhaps I shouldn’t have told him anything till we knew more, but with the seas the way they are…”
“He would have been angry if he had learned you had news and hadn’t told him. And hurt. You know he’s been worried about him…”
Dunstan looked to Malcolm, but Malcolm leaned wearily back in his chair, his gaze averted and his eyes vague. He looked like a man suffering a terrible flux: turned inward, communing with his pain.
Sigefrith sighed and clapped Dunstan on the back. “I shall go talk to him, runt. The Lord knows you deserve a rest.”



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Oh, Alred...It makes me so sad to see him like this. I just reread the chapter where he pretends to be Ethelwyn, when Sebastien first comes to Lothere. It's such a big difference. I can't stand to see how far he's fallen. He must be redeemed soon!
Yeah, he's killing me here.
He has just grown so...small of late. But I don't blame him for the way he's behaving - both Sigefrith and Malcolm are partly to blame for what has happened to Egelric, and he has no idea what that could be. (He should have the sense not to act like this in front of his son, though.)
(Of course, Alred is partly to blame, too, albeit in a much more subtle, psychologically damaging sort of way.)
It does break my heart to see him so bitter. I think it hurts the worst when he uses his old wit and humor and power of words to an end like this.
I agree with Sam and Cassie. It's painful to see Alred like this
I liked all the little hints in the letter, though, with the dots and the "sons". And having all that emphasis on one little word was a clever idea, Lothere, especially since Alred was the one obsessing over it--it does seem like something he would have done even back in happier days, although perhaps not in such a bitter manner.
I don't know about "redeeming" Alred. I think his malady is a worthy storyline of its own, a nice change from all the romance-related stuff, even if painful to read. Like his family, we love him and we hate to see him like this. But I like the idea of portraying the devastating effects of severe, untreated depression on a man and his family: the helplessness Dunstan and Sigefrith feel, and the way it is visibly wearing Dunstan down... the effect on his marriage with Hetty when all the love and support he gave her gets cut off... the way it's warping his younger children as they grow up, giving them all these worries and coping behavior of their own... even the bizarre and almost vicious way he has handled Egelric of late, which might have started Egelric on a death spiral of his own.
This storyline is actually a case where I can "write what I know" so I don't want to trivialize his illness by sending him to have a heart-to-heart and a piece of pie with Gunnilda, leading to a stunning breakthrough that gets us back the Alred of auld lang syne. This isn't an issue that I can just "wrap up" one day.
And I think the fact that it's Alred and not some secondary character is important. As I said above him, we love him, and it pains us to see him like this. If it were merely someone like Godefroy, say, we would feel sorry for him for a few chapters, but I think patience would run out in short order and everyone would wish he would hurry up and off himself already so Leila could be happy.
Now, I do think patience will run out with Alred eventually too. He's not REALLY a member of your family and you don't REALLY love him. It's a story, and stories should progress. Even so, in real life, families DO run out of patience with people suffering from severe depression, and friends DO eventually give up on you, and marriages DO definitely get destroyed.
So there won't be a miracle cure for Alred. (Unless it IS a miracle... hmm...)
At best his external environment will get calm and happy again, and he will be able to benefit from that and find a certain amount of calm and order inside his head. Because y'know, Alred has always been this way. He has his sliding-down-banisters, dancing-on-the-tables, musical comedy periods, and he has his shadowy, rainswept noir periods. This is just one of the worst -- the first time (we know of) that he actually attempted suicide. But he's been thinking about it for as long as we've known him. This IS the Alred of auld lang syne.
Woah Estrid's pregnant! Have we already covered this or is it a new discovery? I'm guessing it has to be Shirtless K's seeing as its only one week along.
Sorry for the randomness, just stumbled across it on her bio page.
Estrid would have no way of knowing it, so it certainly hasn't come up in the story.
Ooh Estrid is pregnant.
Ooooh, Estrid's making K-bies!!
Yeah, I see what you mean about not wanting to trivialize the issue. Depression can't be cured with a few good heart-to-hearts, and I think everyone here understands that. It would definitely feel a little unusual if he just suddenly started being happy again, and that might spoil the "nice" effect.
I don't know. I just really don't like seeing this side of Alred because I'm sort of like that too, with the joking and the word-plays and the secretly melancholy, shadowy soul. It makes me think that his jests and lyricism over the years might have just been a defense mechanism all along, which could easily be the case.
But like you said, if it wasn't someone the readers cared about... well, we wouldn't really care. And this isn't a "take two pills and call me in the morning" sort of illness, and even in fiction, it shouldn't be treated as such.
Soooo quotabulz!
What a bad time to get knocked up! Hopefully Brede will come back soon so she can pass it off as his.
Now onto the chapter... What can I say? While it's definitely sad to see Alred like this, I think you portrayed that irritation that comes with the feeling of helplessness on his family and friends very well. And I agree that this storyline is going to be quite long. Alred certainly can't redeem himself if this is who he's always been; in any case, he's going to have to change.
The one I felt the most sorry for here was Malcolm, though. At first I didn't understand why he was so upset, and then he read the letter... He's going to have a tough time explaining this to Iylaine.
Finally, that last picture of Dunstan is so fitting! Although they all deserve a rest. Hell, everyone in Lothere needs a vacation these days.
Estrid probably won't have much of a problem convincing Brede she got pregnant just before he left. It would only be a few weeks off.
You make a good observation about Malcolm, maruutsu. This is another one of those chapters where there is a picture to be seen in the negative space as well. Nobody seems to be paying attention to what Malcolm must be thinking and feeling.
Sigefrith is treating Malcolm rather rudely if he realizes how he feels, so I suspect Sigefrith's head is elsewhere today. And while Dunstan notices that Malcolm is looking ill, he never really follows up on that thought. At one point he and Alred seem to be "communing with their pain" together, but Dunstan is only vaguely aware of that. It may be that Alred is quite sensitive to how Malcolm must be feeling, but Dunstan's too tired to think about it.
But really, Malcolm isn't looking himself, is he? Sigefrith is all "Tell him about the four dots!" and Malcolm just looks up and dully repeats, "There are four dots." And Sigefrith just keeps on trucking. Sometimes I do want to kick Sigefrith in the kneecap.
Yeah, I think Malcolm has at least some vague idea of what Diarmait and his brothers must have done to Egelric. Imagine the guilt he feels right now -- he wrote the arrest warrant with his own hand. Imagine the grief -- it's his father-in-law after all, the grandfather of the Little Turtle and the Disapproving Baby. And imagine the dread he feels, knowing what this will do to Iylaine (and to his marriage) when she learns the truth.
I should mention that she's not going to learn the truth right away. Sigefrith still hasn't revealed the truth about Egelric's exile. The official word is still that Brede and Eadred are hunting him down for further crimes. Other than the people in the room when Sigefrith made that decision, I think the only other person who knows is Hetty, for her sanity's sake. Sigefrith doesn't want Malcolm to tell Iylaine because Iylaine can't keep her mouth shut. I expect Sigefrith is thinking he may be able to make further use of this Outlaw Egelric story. It would be like him to do so.
Anyway, no one is going to be told about this "punishment" since they don't even know what it consists of yet. Egelric is still officially missing, his whereabouts and state of health unknown.
I still can't get over the repercussions that Egelric's perverse little fling with Maire is having on everyone in the valley. (And outside of it.)
Hee hee, K-bies! I hope they have red hair.
I worry what will become of Malcolm & Iylaine's marriage when Iylaine hears about this. Although, honestly, if Iylaine freaked out and blamed Malcolm I wouldn't be able to blame her. I know, I know, Malcolm was only doing what he thought was right and has guilted and angsted over it, but still. This is her Da, after all.
Anyway I suppose that's jumping the gun.
Yaaaaay, I got quoted
It seems to me that it's only a matter of time before Iylaine finds out. I'm thinking it would be better for the both of them and their children if she never does, but that seems too much to hope for
Hoo... I am sure Egelric would rather she didn't find out, so if he was back in town and a lie could be arranged, he would stand by it. I am just having a harder and harder time imagining Egelric ever coming back to the valley. At least not just to go back to his castle as if nothing had ever happened. Maybe Egelric just needs to retire to a farm in some forgotten corner of the valley. That's all he ever wanted anyway.
Anyway, yes, this is the Year of Vashmalaina after all, so we can expect lots of turmoil in that marriage. I hadn't planned on the extra strain of the Egelric thing, but so it goes.
I agree, it would be for the best if Egelric got his farm and retreated from society.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wow. The dynamics here. The strain. The TENSION.
Is it wrong, that all that just made me hungry for a big fat slab of juicy DRAMA! steak?
It's weird. I never used to be able to imagine a Lothere without an Egelric. He's been through so much, though, and fallen so far. I just can't see it going back to normal. I almost expect him to sail away on a giant swan boat like Frodo Baggins.
Yeah, I can't see Egelric Just coming back and having everything be totally normal. Its true though, all he's ever wanted was to be a Farmer. Its how he's always thought of himself, and I think in a lot of ways it Could be really healing for him to just be that "simple farmer."
I wonder how much of a wall Sigefrith is building for himself and his own worry here. While everyone else is sweating, he's busy delving into the mechanics of the letter, interpreting and problem solving. It's almost as though he's shielding himself by making this into a cognitive exercise. And while he might not be the most emotive man around, he's still gotta be feeling something. This was his idea, after all. Maybe Sigefrith's blindness to the effect that this is having on Malcolm is just due to the spy novel decoder glasses he's wearing.
First off, wonderful chapter! I hope Baby doesn't find out yet.
Second, after I finished reading this chapter I went to the bottom of the comments, cause I always read those, and saw there wasn't a link to the next chapter. I got up to present day! I can comment on prieview banners! Yay!! It has been amazing, staying up late every night to read chapters for it seems like forever. Thanks for writing this!
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