"There is worse than winter, my dear.  There is nothing at all."

"Black-hair goat is fine too."

"That gangling monkey who just took the finest fruit of your loins out for a dunking."

"Is it good with raw babies?"

"I have diligently edited and found minor mistakes in your writing for the past few months, and I say that this entire post is a mistake. Erase it immediately or I shall throw karma coins at your head."

"Holy cock-sucking mother of a misbegotten, shit-eating, goat-fondling god!"

"I dated an Imin too but he was deported."

"I believe we are all far too discreet, with the noteworthy exception of my wife."

"A dream!  Stop this blubbering!  First of all, you don't cut a head off with a sword, it's much too difficult.  You use an axe.  Now—"

"It's called self-mortification." — "It's called fucking insanity."